Today was a crazy sandwich...

...or maybe I should call it a good day sandwiched between two crazy breads.

What on Earth am I yammering about?  So glad you asked.

My day was broken up into three significant "parts," for lack of a better word.

Part One - the bottom crazy bread

I was in Wal-Mart, minding my own business, and trying to get some photos printed.  A complete stranger, hereinafter referred to as "Crazy Karate Guy" (or CKG for short), comes up to me and asks if the photo maker was easy to use.  I told him it was pretty easy.  He had a photo he wanted to scan, so I showed him where the machine and scanner were, and told him to ask the ladies (Wal-Mart employees) if he needed help.

One Wal-Mart lady goes over to help him, and realizes that he's trying to make copies of a photo that was done by a professional photographer.  No can do -- don't we all know that?  Apparently not. 

Crazy Karate Guy goes into this long explanation of why he needs to copy the photo, which was a photo of him doing some kind of karate kick.  It went something like this:  "This is MY picture.  This is a picture of ME.  I wanted them to take a picture with my foot here.  See how my foot is way back here.  I was supposed to be kicking this way.  They got it all wrong."

Of course, the Wal-Mart lady couldn't care less where his foot was or which way he was kicking.  He was NOT going to copy that photo on their machine.  She explained to him that he couldn't copy it because it was copyrighted.  Well, this completely SET HIM OFF. 

Crazy Karate Guy proceeds to tell her, "This is MY picture!  I paid $120 for this picture.  It's mine.  I can copy it if I want to.  Where do you see "copyright" on here?  It doesn't say "copyright" anywhere on here."

Wal-Mart lady tells him that she will get him a copy of the copyright laws, to which he replied:  "I already KNOW the laws.  I know ALL the rules.  I can sue Wal-Mart!  Selling all that beer, whiskey and wine.  It's illegal!  I'm suing the government!  Selling all that beer, whiskey and wine!  Breaking ALL the laws!"

Wal-Mart lady, poor dear, doesn't realize she's dealing with a complete lunatic.  She argues with him on every point.  "You can't sue Wal-Mart.  It's not against the law!  We have a liquor license!"

CKG goes on and on and on about the beer, whiskey and wine, and how everybody's breaking all the laws of "Father God."

Wal-Mart lady tells him the laws of the Catholic Church and the United States are different.  Wal-Mart CAN sell liquor because they have a liquor license.

CKG continues with his "beer, whiskey and wine" tirade and throws in that he prayed for [some country I can't remember] to have mudslides and it happened "RIGHT AWAY!" 

Wal-Mart lady calls her supervisor to handle up on CKG.  I call her over to try to ask her a question, in an attempt to interrupt this ridiculous show, and I whisper to her "He's not all there.  Leave it alone.  Call security." 

It didn't do any good.  She was too invested in the craziness and went back to arguing with him, even AFTER her supervisor showed up.

I figured I'd better get out of there.  CKG is the type of person who blows up Federal buildings, and I wasn't sticking around for that....just in case.

Part Two - Good Day

I went home and cleaned my entire house.  I'm talking sweeping and water mopping; cleaning tubs, sinks, toilets; washing all throw rugs and hanging up to dry; vacuuming the entire house; and dusting the entire house.

Y'all.  It put a hurtin' on me.

But I was so satisfied with my clean house!  Oh happy day!

I picked up the girls from Mother's Day Out, got them seated with a snack and started supper.  I cooked a very good supper, and we headed out to play outside.  We watered all the trees Handy Daddy planted and had a good ole' time.

We came back inside, washed up, and finished up preparing supper.

Part Three - the top  crazy bread

I opened the door of the fridge and grabbed the Italian dressing.  Out slipped a glass jar of Pepperoncini, which shattered on the porcelain tile, and flew to every corner of the house -- even AROUND walls into other rooms (how in the world???).

The pickle juice seeped all over the kitchen floor, while I picked up glass from EVERYWHERE.  I had to re-sweep, re-vacuum and re-mop.  All while the kids ate their supper and mine went cold.

To top it off, the "after-school meltdown" started right after they ate supper, so Tootsie was crying and following me around while I mopped.  She slipped several times on the wet floor, which just increased the intensity of the cries.  The Bug asked me approximately 4 million questions during this time, while trying to "help" me mop.

I could not bathe and put them to bed fast enough.

Summary

I had a great, productive day, sandwiched in between two slices of crazy bread.

And now, I'm going to find the Epsom salt and a tub of hot water. 

Tomorrow is a new day.  Good night.