How to tell if you're a little nutty, if your kids are spoiled, and other less negative things

 You might be nutty if...

...you take photos of your children's toys and think of silly newspaper headlines to go with them.

Barbie nearly electrocuted by hairdryer in toilet -- rips lid off toilet in fit of rage...

Just so you know I'm not a complete lunatic, I did NOT pose the toys before photographing.  This was Tootsie's work.  I just thought it was too funny.

But I did  pose this one of Ariel.  Poor Ariel's hair was so...ahem...nappy...I couldn't bear it anymore.  I brushed it out, which took quite a bit of time, and braided it.  This resulted in a little hair loss, as evidenced by the pile of red hair next to her.  Sorry, Ariel.  

So we did the usual for Easter.  Some egg dying, hunting and pacque pacque, which is basically like an egg war.  Two people each have an egg -- they hit them to together and whoever has a broken egg at the end of that is the loser. 

I have no photos documenting any of this, except for the one of the Bug dyeing eggs above.  Fail.

Checking out their loot.

If you got tickets to Disney on Ice in your Easter Basket when you were 4, wouldn't you have been excited?  Or maybe peed in your pants a little bit?

Could she BE more indifferent?

On another note, no pretty Easter dresses for us -- it was HOT HOT!  Or as we say in the Platte, "Ca fais chaud!"

He breathed His last

This is a "Part 2" to my post of yesterday, A Bittersweet Night.  

Thursday (cont.)

           Betrayed and Arrested

Right after Jesus finished praying in the Garden, He and His disciples crossed the Kidron Valley and went to an olive grove.  John 18:2 (NIV) says, “Now Judas…knew the place…”  Judas led the soldiers right to Jesus.  Matthew 26:48 (NIV) says Judas had arranged a signal with religious leaders, saying, “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.”  When Judas kissed Him, Jesus replied, “Friend, do what you came for.”  (v. 50)  (emphasis mine)

John 18:4-6 (NIV) records Jesus asking the soldiers who it was they wanted.  They told Him they wanted “Jesus of Nazareth.”  When Jesus replied, I am he, “they drew back and fell to the ground.” 

            Tried and Condemned

Jesus was subjected to six separate trials (three religious and three civil) before He was condemned.

He was tried first before Annas, the father-in-law of the high priest.  (John 18)  He was then tried before Caiaphas (the high priest at the time) and the Sanhedrin.  (Luke 22:54,63-65)  During these two trials, He was mocked, beat, insulted, spat upon, and kept up all night.

Friday

At daybreak, He was brought before the Sanhedrin again, who tried Him and sent Him to Pilate.  (Luke 22:66-71)

He was tried by Pilate, who, upon learning Jesus was a Galilean, sent Him to Herod Antipas (the same who man who put John the Baptist’s head on a platter).  (Luke23:6-12)  Herod tried Him (Luke 23:9), then sent Him back to Pilate.  He was tried again by Pilate (Luke 23:13-25).

Pilate tried three times to release Jesus (Luke 23:22).  He offered to have Him punished and released.  But that wasn’t good enough for the religious leaders.  They didn’t want Him punished and released.  They wanted Him dead.  That’s why they brought Him to Pilate in the first place.  Under Roman rule, the Jews did not have the right to execute anyone (John 18:31).  Only Pilate had the authority to have Jesus crucified.  Pilate found no grounds for the death penalty, “But with loud shouts they insistently demanded that he be crucified, and their shouts prevailed.” (Luke 23:23 NIV)

Jesus was flogged and led away to be crucified.

            Crucifixion

The scourging Jesus received from the soldiers was so severe, He could not stand under the weight of the cross.  Isaiah 52:14 (NIV) says that “his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness…”  He was beaten beyond recognition.

Beth goes on to say that, “The severity of the beating administered prior to crucifixion often depended upon how long the officials wanted victims to live.  They could live up to six days.  Quite possibly, Christ’s beating demonstrated the full extremity of severity, not to spare Him a lengthy death, but to allow the religious leaders to be home for supper.  After all, it was a holiday weekend.”

The two most prominent causes of death by crucifixion were from blood and fluid loss or suffocation.  The weight of His body pulling down on His outstretched arms and shoulders would have made it extremely hard to breathe, and He would have to push down on His feet to push Himself up to get a breath.  Besides the wounds on His body from the beatings and scourging…besides the nails driven through His wrists and feet…He endured the excruciating pain of suffocation.

Matthew 27:45 (NIV) says, "From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land.  About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, 'Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachtahani?' -- which means, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'"

Beth says, "I believe this cry marked the exact moment the sins of all humanity -- past, present and future-- were heaped upon Christ and the full cup of God's wrath poured forth.  Somehow I believe that to bear the sin, Jesus also had to bear the separation.  Though Christ had to suffer the incomparable agony of separation from the fellowship of His Father while sin was judged, I am moved that He breathed His last breath with full assurance of His Father's trustworthiness."


She is referring to Luke 23:44-46 (NIV), when "Jesus called out with a loud voice, 'Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.'  When he had said this, he breathed his last."

Genesis 2:7 (NIV) says, "the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."   1 Corinthians 15:45-49 (NIV) says, "'The first man Adam became a living being'; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit.  The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual.  The first man was the dust of the earth, the second man from heaven.  As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the man from heaven, so also are those who are of heaven.  And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we bear the likeness of the man from heaven." (emphasis mine)


He breathed His last.


Matthew 27:51 says, "At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.  The earth shook and the rocks split."


Hebrews 10:19-20 (NIV) says, "Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is his body..." (emphasis mine)


At the moment the Word made Flesh breathed His last, the curtain [that is his body] was torn in two from top to bottom.

Another interesting point is that when Jesus was entering Jerusalem, and the religious leaders instructed Him to rebuke His disciples for praising Him, He told them, "I tell you...if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out."  Luke 19:40 (NIV)  Could this be what was happening in Matthew 27:51 when "the rocks split"?


Don't you love the deep waters that are the Word of the Living God?

Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for Jesus' body.  With Pilate's permission, he and Nicodemus took the body and wrapped it with spices and strips of linen.  Then they placed His body in a new tomb in a nearby garden.

"The women who had come with Jesus from Galilee followed Joseph and saw the tomb and how his body was laid in it.  Then they went home and prepared spices and perfumes.  But they rested on the Sabbath in obedience to the commandment."  (Luke 23:55-56 (NIV)

John 20:12 (NIV) says there were two, "angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot."  It's as if they were guarding His body as it lay "in state," as Beth says, in the sepulcher.  This is the exact position of the cherubim in Exodus 25:19, who guarded the atonement cover on the Ark of the Covenant, which represented the presence of God.

He was the fulfillment of that Covenant, and every promise of God.  Praise you, Lord!

I'll end on this Good Friday, which these words of John in his Gospel:

"He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him.  He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.  Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God -- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God."  John 1:10:14 (NIV)

Hallelujah to the King!

A Bittersweet Night

Reposted from Joli Blog

As we spend the next few days preparing for Easter, we may have a meal planned with family.  Many of us will be dying eggs and having egg hunts.  If you hail from Ville Platte or some other country community, like I do, you probably will be doing a little pacque pacque.  We will be decked out in our Sunday best.  I’m already thinking about the chocolate rabbits (I like the hollow ones).

But this year, I really wanted to be focusing on the real meaning of Resurrection Day.  So I decided to do this Beth Moore study, Jesus the One and Only, which has enriched my understanding of the events surrounding the life and death of my Savior.  Time well spent, I can assure you.

Of course, I found the entire study to be very informative and moving.  I learned a lot.  But what I would like to share with you are the things I learned about the day before Jesus was crucified that I found to be particularly fascinating.

I think we all know that Jesus was crucified on a Friday.  His body lay in the tomb on Saturday and, on Sunday, He rose again.  As Christians, we know this Story.  But what do we know about the Thursday (which, incidentally, is today)?  We know the story of the Last Supper and Garden of Gethsemane, but if you’ve ever done an in-depth Bible study with Beth before, you know that she likes to take  you a little deeper into the story.  I love that. 

So here we go…a little deeper.

The Passover (Luke 22)

As Gentile believers, we usually refer to this being “The Last Supper.”  Jesus and His disciples were Jews.  What they were celebrating was the Passover.  The Passover was a celebration instituted by God through Moses in Exodus Chapter 12.  They were to celebrate on the fourteenth day of the first month of the year, “…because it was on this very day that I brought your divisions out of Egypt.  Celebrate this day as a lasting ordinance for the generations to come.”  Exodus 12:17 (NIV)

The meal consisted of “…[lamb] roasted over the fire, along with bitter herbs, and bread made without yeast.”  Exodus 12:8 (NIV)  This meal was a celebration of God bringing the Israelites out of Egypt, but it was about so much more.  It was foreshadowing what was to come.

The significance of unleavened bread is spelled out for us in 1 Corinthians 5:7-8.  “For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.  Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth.” (NIV)

In the study, Beth says, “The bitter herbs symbolized the bitterness of the suffering memorialized in the Passover observance:  the bitterness of slavery, ..death, …and…an innocent lamb’s substitution….the lamb would soon be fulfilled in Jesus Christ.” 

Interestingly, Beth also points out that Jesus chose Peter and John to prepare the Passover meal, and they are the only two of the twelve apostles who were ever recorded referring to Jesus as the “Lamb.” (1 Peter 1:18-20 and Revelation 5:6-8, 12-13)  Apparently, having prepared that meal, and witnessing the fulfillment of what it represented, affected them greatly.

The Passover meal was celebrated by each family with the father pouring the cups of wine and the youngest child asking the traditional questions that provoked the father to tell the story of the Passover.  Christ took the father role in this observance and poured the first of four cups of wine.  They would’ve risen from the table and He would have recited the Kiddush, or prayer of sanctification.  It is believed that John was the youngest disciple, so he likely would’ve asked the questions.

Beth says that “The four cups of wine served at the Passover meal represented the four expressions, or “I wills” of God’s promised deliverance in Exodus 6:6-7.

First Cup:  Cup of Sanctification:  “…I will bring you out…”

Second Cup:  Cup of Plaques:  “I will deliver you from their bondage…”

Third Cup:  Cup of Redemption:  “…I will redeem you with an outstretched arm…”

Fourth Cup:  Cup of Ingathering:  “I will take you as my own people…”

Jesus poured the second up of wine and narrated the story of Israel’s exodus.  Then they had the meal.

The third cup was taken after the supper (Luke 22:20).  Beth goes on to say that “We know Christ did not literally drink this third cup because He stated in Luke 22:18 that He would not drink of another cup until the coming of the kingdom of God.  Instead of drinking the cup, He would do something of sin-shattering significance.  He would, in essence, become the cup and pour out His life for the redemption of man.” 

Is this stirring anything in any of you?  Because, I tell you what, I can’t help but shout “Hallelujah!” to that one! 

He brought me out; He delivered me from my bondage; He redeemed me with his arms stretched out on the Cross; and when He returns in His glory, He will take me as His own!  Give me a minute…gotta get up a dance a little bit!

We will drink that Fourth Cup with Him at the Wedding Supper of the Lamb!  I can’t wait!  (And my glorified body will be able to handle the wine that my earthly body cannot without overindulging!)

Another very significant event in this particular Passover is that Jesus instituted the New Covenant, represented by the bread and the wine. (Luke 22:19-20)

            Garden of Gethsemane

Immediately after Jesus celebrated the Passover with the Twelve, He went to the Garden of Gethsemane on the Mount of Olives.  While His disciples slept, He cried out to God. “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you.  Take this cup from me.  Yet not what I will, but what you will.”  Mark 14:36 (NIV) 

Beth quotes The Dictionary of New Testament Theology regarding Jesus’ use of the term “’abba.”  This gave me chills.

“In Aram, ‘abba is originally…a word derived from baby-language.  When a child is weaned, ‘it learns to say ‘abba (daddy) and ‘imma (mummy).’…Nowhere in the entire wealth of devotional literature produced by ancient Judaism do we find ‘abba being used as a way of addressing God.”

She goes on to say, “Never minimize the moment by thinking God couldn’t have removed the cup….That God could have stopped the process yet didn’t is a matchless demonstration of love.  Can you think of anyone for whom you’d watch your only child be tortured to death?”

Do you see the value He places on you, Beloved?

That Thursday night was also the same night Jesus was betrayed by Judas, arrested and tried before  Annas, Caiaphas and the Sanhedrin.  He was mocked, beat, spat upon, insulted and kept up all night before being tried again the next morning by the Sanhedrin and turned over to Pilate. 

I’ll end with this poem of Beth’s:

O perfect Lamb of Passover,

Let me not quickly run.

Recount to me the blessed plot,

Tell how the plan was spun

That I, a slave of Egypt’s lusts,

A prisoner of dark dread,

Could be condemned unto a cross

And find you nailed instead.

Side effects include, but are not limited to...

Warning:  applying makeup to a 4 year old for dance pictures can cause anxiety, headaches, irritability, shortness of breath, backache, sweating, leg spasms, aggressiveness, mania, uncontrollable screaming, restlessness, memory loss, panic attacks and/or other unusual changes in behavior or mood.  Use caution when operating hot appliances.

And I'm talking about for Mama, not the 4 year old.

I have to do this 2 more times before the recital.

But she sho' is cute, ain't she?

Today was a crazy sandwich...

...or maybe I should call it a good day sandwiched between two crazy breads.

What on Earth am I yammering about?  So glad you asked.

My day was broken up into three significant "parts," for lack of a better word.

Part One - the bottom crazy bread

I was in Wal-Mart, minding my own business, and trying to get some photos printed.  A complete stranger, hereinafter referred to as "Crazy Karate Guy" (or CKG for short), comes up to me and asks if the photo maker was easy to use.  I told him it was pretty easy.  He had a photo he wanted to scan, so I showed him where the machine and scanner were, and told him to ask the ladies (Wal-Mart employees) if he needed help.

One Wal-Mart lady goes over to help him, and realizes that he's trying to make copies of a photo that was done by a professional photographer.  No can do -- don't we all know that?  Apparently not. 

Crazy Karate Guy goes into this long explanation of why he needs to copy the photo, which was a photo of him doing some kind of karate kick.  It went something like this:  "This is MY picture.  This is a picture of ME.  I wanted them to take a picture with my foot here.  See how my foot is way back here.  I was supposed to be kicking this way.  They got it all wrong."

Of course, the Wal-Mart lady couldn't care less where his foot was or which way he was kicking.  He was NOT going to copy that photo on their machine.  She explained to him that he couldn't copy it because it was copyrighted.  Well, this completely SET HIM OFF. 

Crazy Karate Guy proceeds to tell her, "This is MY picture!  I paid $120 for this picture.  It's mine.  I can copy it if I want to.  Where do you see "copyright" on here?  It doesn't say "copyright" anywhere on here."

Wal-Mart lady tells him that she will get him a copy of the copyright laws, to which he replied:  "I already KNOW the laws.  I know ALL the rules.  I can sue Wal-Mart!  Selling all that beer, whiskey and wine.  It's illegal!  I'm suing the government!  Selling all that beer, whiskey and wine!  Breaking ALL the laws!"

Wal-Mart lady, poor dear, doesn't realize she's dealing with a complete lunatic.  She argues with him on every point.  "You can't sue Wal-Mart.  It's not against the law!  We have a liquor license!"

CKG goes on and on and on about the beer, whiskey and wine, and how everybody's breaking all the laws of "Father God."

Wal-Mart lady tells him the laws of the Catholic Church and the United States are different.  Wal-Mart CAN sell liquor because they have a liquor license.

CKG continues with his "beer, whiskey and wine" tirade and throws in that he prayed for [some country I can't remember] to have mudslides and it happened "RIGHT AWAY!" 

Wal-Mart lady calls her supervisor to handle up on CKG.  I call her over to try to ask her a question, in an attempt to interrupt this ridiculous show, and I whisper to her "He's not all there.  Leave it alone.  Call security." 

It didn't do any good.  She was too invested in the craziness and went back to arguing with him, even AFTER her supervisor showed up.

I figured I'd better get out of there.  CKG is the type of person who blows up Federal buildings, and I wasn't sticking around for that....just in case.

Part Two - Good Day

I went home and cleaned my entire house.  I'm talking sweeping and water mopping; cleaning tubs, sinks, toilets; washing all throw rugs and hanging up to dry; vacuuming the entire house; and dusting the entire house.

Y'all.  It put a hurtin' on me.

But I was so satisfied with my clean house!  Oh happy day!

I picked up the girls from Mother's Day Out, got them seated with a snack and started supper.  I cooked a very good supper, and we headed out to play outside.  We watered all the trees Handy Daddy planted and had a good ole' time.

We came back inside, washed up, and finished up preparing supper.

Part Three - the top  crazy bread

I opened the door of the fridge and grabbed the Italian dressing.  Out slipped a glass jar of Pepperoncini, which shattered on the porcelain tile, and flew to every corner of the house -- even AROUND walls into other rooms (how in the world???).

The pickle juice seeped all over the kitchen floor, while I picked up glass from EVERYWHERE.  I had to re-sweep, re-vacuum and re-mop.  All while the kids ate their supper and mine went cold.

To top it off, the "after-school meltdown" started right after they ate supper, so Tootsie was crying and following me around while I mopped.  She slipped several times on the wet floor, which just increased the intensity of the cries.  The Bug asked me approximately 4 million questions during this time, while trying to "help" me mop.

I could not bathe and put them to bed fast enough.

Summary

I had a great, productive day, sandwiched in between two slices of crazy bread.

And now, I'm going to find the Epsom salt and a tub of hot water. 

Tomorrow is a new day.  Good night.