what's in a name

Another one of my BFFs, Jodie, has this hilarious little blog, which you can visit here.  I was hesitant to release that information, for fear that you would spend all of your free time there, and not here, but then I realized that most of my followers are my family or...well....Jodie...then I decided it was safe.  If I'm wrong, it's gonna be pret-ty awkward at the to da Drama house come the holidays.

So anyway, Jodie has thrown down the gauntlet with this little name googling game and I have picked up the aforementioned gauntlet.  Picked up the gauntlet....is that right?  I'm not sure, but here goes:

(the names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Mama to da Drama looks like...
Mama to da Drama looks like broccoli.  Yes, right after I wash and dry my hair.  They be pret-ty frizzy.
Mama to da Drama looks like Toon sex-symbol Jessica Rabbit.  Wow...really?  That's flattering, but not so much.  I mean, that would be too much pressure for me.  You got the man-drool and the paparazzi to deal with.  Not to mention that annoying hair hanging over one eye all the time.  Can you imagine the strain that puts on the other poor eye?  I think I'll just stick to being day-to-day average and special-occasion smokin'.  I know...I'm so full of myself, right?  I blame Handy Daddy -- always telling me how beautiful I am.  It's really gone to my head.
Mama to da Drama looks like Luna Lovegood.  Not sure about this either, but I totally love the name "Luna."

Mama to da Drama likes...
Mama to da Drama likes her adventure buddy, Madden.  I WOULD like to have an adventure buddy, so I guess I need to keep my eye out for this "Madden" character.
Mama to da Drama likes chocolate biscuits.  I didn't know there was such a thing, but probably not.  Not only am I not a fan of sweet meat, but not a fan of sweet biscuits.  Muffins, sure.  Biscuits, no.
Mama to da Drama likes to hang out with her high-school friends, go to bars and eat at Lebanese restaurants.  (a) sure, but don't really do it much anymore [and what would Madden say?]; (2) no; and (c) Maybe. 

Mama to da Drama says...
Mama to da Drama says pink isn't only a color.  It is an attitude.  I actually think red is more of an attitude.  That's probably why I look so much like Jessica Rabbit.
Mama to da Drama says that the focus on her décolletage doesn't concern her.  That's true.  It doesn't.
Mama to da Drama says hello.  Yes I do.  Except when I say "bonjour."

Mama to da Drama wants...
Mama to da Drama wants to be a bridesmaid for Kendra's wedding.  Only if I can pick the dress.
Mama to da Drama wants to go to California.  Sure.  Why not?
Mama to da Drama wants to be pregnant before she's 30.  Mission accomplished.

Mama to da Drama does...
Mama to da Drama does hair.  Don't believe everything you read.
Mama to da Drama does menswear.  Only if you count Handy Daddy's t-shirts when I was 9 mos. preggo.

Mama to da Drama hates...
Mama to da Drama hates her dinosaur.  If by "her dinosaur," they mean the VCR, then they are wrong.  It's the only way I get to watch Survivor on the same evening it airs.  You have to wait 'til like the next day to watch it on the Internet. 
Mama to da Drama hates the coward.  I do.  He's pretty pathetic.
Mama to da Drama hates a mess.  It don't get no righter!, i.e., that statement is accurate.

Mama to da Drama goes...
Mama to da Drama goes vintage.  1940s all the way.
Mama to da Drama goes to see Mr. Schuester after freaking out over Mercedes getting in trouble.  I'm totally over it, though. 

Mama to da Drama is...
Mama to da Drama is actually the remedy for very negative, aggressive feelings.  Wow, I had no idea I had this much power. 
Mama to da Drama is a genus of approximately 600 species of flowering plants.  I got a little excited, because I thought it said, "genius." 

Mama to da Drama loves...
Mama to da Drama loves art.  Eh....it's okay.
Mama to da Drama loves all God's creatures.  "Loves" is a strong word.  More like either "respects" or "hates,"  depending on the creature.  But I do loves horses.
Mama to da Drama loves Dan.   Which one?  Aykroyd or Rather?  Because it definitely makes a difference.

I feel like I've really opened up to you all on this post. 

It's not easy for me to be so transparent. [wink wink]

...your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

One of my BFFs, upon entering into the potty-training phase of parenting his girls, came to the conclusion that we girls have a "design flaw."  According to him, we girls pee everywhere and, of course, can't pee standing up.  Never mind he is a pastor and the designer he is critiquing is the Almighty Himself.  Oh, and if you're reading this, Brother, I have two words for you -- well, really, one word and some numbers:

Isaiah 29:16

Don't worry, girls, I got our backs...[wink wink]

Well, I was just beside myself with glee when I stumbled upon this add in the Pearson's Luggage catalog. 

I submit to you Exhibit K -- the GOGIRL.

Only $9.95 people.

And it's made in the good ole' U-S of A.

Okay.  What do you say to this?  Speechless?

Not me.

First of all, I applaud them for their ingenuity.

Second of all, is this really necessary?

I mean, WHEN do you actually need this GOGIRL contraption?  It is the year 2010, right?  We all have indoor plumbing, right?  Well, I kinda didn't a few weeks ago, but that is for another post.

Where are you going to be going, that you will have use for this thing?

Okay, trying to give them the benefit of the doubt...

Maybe you could use it when you go camping.  Right, no squatting in the woods.  Okay, I'll give them that. 

Then shouldn't it be in a camping/outdoor catalog?

Okay, more benefit-of-the-doubt-giving...

Okay, it's a luggage catalog.  I'm thinking, maybe it's for people traveling to third-world countries that don't have indoor plumbing.  Yeah....that has to be it, right?

But the suitcases on the preceding page will run you a few Benjamins apiece.  If I'm going to a third-world country, I ain't bringin' no $300 suitcase.

I'm bringing this baby from Wal-Mart[s]:

3-Piece Value Luggage Set, Black - $19.00

I don't know - but I think people are just way too nutty these days.  Like this guy, Dan, on Survivor this season. 

He wore a $1,500 pair of shoes onto survivor.  Another lady on the show, Holly, got mad at him and buried them in the ocean.  Well, if you're stupid enough to wear a $1,500 pair of shoes onto Survivor, you deserve it.  Sorry, buddy.  I "got nothin' for ya'", like Probst says. 

I think I was born in the wrong decade.  I don't think people were this dumb in the 40s.  That's when I should've been born.  I woulda' rocked the 40s.

And that GOGIRL would've come in handy then.